Don't hate the player, hate the game!

From my favorite advice column (in the Washington Post):

Carolyn,

I have always been in the camp of "If I want to call a guy, I call him." I figure he's got just as ways to avoid that call or take it as I do -- and if he avoids me, I usually get the hint. My dear sister thinks that if said guy wanted to talk to me, he'd call me, therefore I am wasting my time, even if this guy talks to me when I call.
Most of me wants to ignore my sister and continue to live my life but there is a little part that wonders -- should I stop calling and wait from them to call me?

Carolyn Hax: The perfect guy for you is one who thinks it's great that you call. So, keep being yourself and scaring off the guys who hate that you call, since, if you do take your sister's advice and change and attract a guy who prefers women to be a little coy, he's just going to fall for your sister the first time you bring him home. There's a reason we're different. Enjoy.

Ah, the woodwork is so pretty with the crazies coming out of it!

Dear Blog World,

First I feel I must apologize for my extended absence (volunteering and watching CSI every night does not an exciting blog make). Not that I'm promising to return consistently, which oddly enough is precisely what this post is about, but life has gotten more interesting again and I have felt the spirit move me to share with you again. So sit back and relax, while I tell you a tale of friendship, betrayal, and ultimately, maturity.

Background: On New Year's Eve I made several new friends since I stayed in Pittsburgh and went to two different parties with my "gay boyfriend" (that's another story entirely which maybe I'll tell later). The first was a bunch of hippies who didn't have a TV and so we had to make up our own countdown according to our cell phones. The second party was an entirely different group comprised of Jewish brothers packing heat (yeah, how often do you hear that phrase? well, if you're not in Israel I mean). So, as can be expected, I befriended the older brother after asking to see his piece (the metal one, just to clarify for those thinking I was using a euphemism). So last week we got together and made dinner and discussed politics and he kissed me. Now of course this was not out of the blue as I may have been rather friendly in my drunken state on New Years, but I wasn't exactly feeling it that night at dinner.

Well, partly because of the kiss and partly because I've actually been busy hanging out with the sis and my other new friends, I didn't call him back for over a week. Yeah, slightly bitchy, but how old are we? And I wanted to hang out again, because he seems intelligent and has some interesting views which I don't often discuss with people. So last night I stopped by at the bar where he works, dragging along my other new friend Abby (who rocks, btw. who knew girls could be so much fun?) who also knows him. Well, I could tell the minute I got there that he was either pissed at me or at least at something. So he basically ignored me the whole time and I left an hour and a half later reeking of smoke and feeling like it really had been time well spent. About ten minutes later I get a text message, "Come back any time." My immediate reaction was, "Kiss my ass," but instead I went with something along the lines of: I believe I will. It was such pleasant company. Thanks for having me. Which then tipped off a 15-minute text message fight (this is the maturity part I was referring to) before he finally called me. He had the nerve to call me a Princess, which I have to say is maybe the worst thing I've ever been called (hey, I only got over being called a girl a few years ago). But, boring details short, we had it out and are now semi-okay. I think we're getting together on Monday for dinner and a discussion of those wretched liberals.

Desperate for friends? Why yes, yes I am. Thanks for asking.

I'm looking for a new love, baby

No, I have not found the man I'm going to marry. But just as well is this:

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino® Blended Coffee: A proprietary blend including coffee, pumpkin and traditional holiday spice flavors, blended with ice and topped with whipped cream and pumpkin pie spices

Ever since Starbucks disenfranchised me by dropping their heavenly Mocha Malt Frappuccino, I had lost my main way of imbibing massive quantities of calories in a single sitting (not entirely true, Ben & Jerry's will always be my first and favorite). Well, no longer. Although I know it will only be a seasonal treat, I will make sure to get there early and often to take full advantage while it lasts.

Also, random nugget of the day- Starbucks will be increasing their prices an average of 10 cents per beverage at a small risk of alienating their base clientele. But seeing as how their coffee also contains a higher percentage of caffeine per serving than all other leading brands, their client base would seem to be securely locked in with their ever-growing caffeine addictions.

Sleeping, naturally

I am concerned. My favorite pasttime has been robbed of its pleasures. For those of you who know my sister and I, you know that sleeping runs in the family. We are marathon sleepers, 12 hours is not a difficult feat for either of us given adequate time and opportunity. I have been known to snooze for four hours at a time rather than get up and mar a perfect weekend with some type of physical activity.

Part of why I enjoy sleeping so much is the bizarre and fun dreams I experience. Over the years I have had sexual encounters with actors, celebrities, friends, but luckily no family, all without leaving my bed (well, I guess that's where you normally have sexual encounters but I meant while I was asleep).

But this past week I have had an alarming number of unpleasant dreams and experiences. Over the weekend I dreamt I was fleeing from a flood (remnants of Hurricane Ivan I'm sure), that my sister had died and left me to take care of her two young children (which was quite hilarious once I actually woke up), and that I had forgotten my boarding pass and was trying to get to the airplane on time and my family was already at the gate about to leave without me.

I'd have to say the "coolest" experience of the past week has been the other night when I was napping. I woke up several times, not because I was cold or uncomfortable, but because I heard a male voice speaking to me. This happened at least twice, and I swear he was saying things deliberately to get my attention so that I would wake up. Finding no reason why I needed to be awake, I promptly went back to sleep. Hmm, now I'm beginning to wonder if there was some reason I was supposed to be awake and now I've missed destiny calling me. Figures. I'd be asleep when destiny calls.

So now that I hear voices I've begun reconciling myself with the fact that I have startedthe (hopefully) quick decline into senility and mental detachment from reality. So, as I slowly forget who you all are, let me just say that it's been real.

And the moral of the story is...

Little William was born in 1898 to an experimentally minded psychologist, Boris Sidis. He trotted William through school so quickly that the boy was enrolled at Harvard by age 11. William graduated with a math degree at 16, but soon after he lost interest in math and spent much of his life working at clerical jobs and writing esoteric books. Boris Sidis had offered his prodigy to the public as proof that young children can learn prodigiously; reporters would hound William Sidis as a failure for the rest of his life. He came to resent his parents for driving him and died alone at 46.

Rain, rain, go the FUCK away!

Holy Shit! I do not believe that this qualifies as a pickup truck. I mean, I like me some big trucks, but this is freakin ridiculous.

As is this weather, I might add. I had to make a trip to the Courthouse this afternoon which is close enough to walk, but far enough that I was drenched by the time I got there. So here I sit with wet pants and another hurricane as a birthday present. This is beginning to become an annual event (the hurricane that is, my birthday has always been an annual event!). And I get no sympathy. My friend in Cali and my coworker on a trip to Vegas can't seem to stop rubbing it in how it's dry and sunny where they are. Bastards.

Slow and steady

Been slacking, I know. Loads of things going on. As Molly mentioned, Labor Day weekend was a blast! I'm still getting strange cravings for deep-fried Oreos and Italian sausage in the middle of the night.

I moved into my new apartment this past Monday. I'm so excited to be sleeping in my own bed again! I'm still swimming through boxes, but things are beginning to shape up. I spent over $200 at Wal*Mart last night for such essentials as dishes, cups, shower curtains, toilet paper, and a Chef wall clock. All necessities. I have decided to go with a red, white, and blue theme (gee, I wonder where I got that idea) which lends itself conveniently to pretty much all household items. The apartment is a good size for one person though it's just small enough that I can't fit my friend's bumper pool table into the living room. And the view! The view, particularly at night, is amazing. I'm on the 12th floor facing the Allegheny River. I can see the Heinz ketchup bottle pouring slowly and repetitively, PNC Park if I squint real hard, the train tracks right below me, and several bridges along the river. The History Museum sign (looks like a red atomic symbol) is practically close enough to use as a night light.

In other news, I flew a plane on Friday. Yes, I know you all just read that as "flew IN a plane," but no, I actually steered it and kept us aloft for five minutes. My coworker has his license and we went up Friday afternoon to take aerial photographs of a few of the projects we're working on. After I was done with the photo shoot, he let me take over. It was very exciting, but I still think I'm going to stick with my motorcycle dream and keep my feet on the ground. But isn't this the best job ever? Flying planes, all in a day's work!

I think I have a crush on that coworker too. He's getting married next month, so I'm trying to get him to introduce me to his friends instead. His excuse is, that he likes me too much to inflict them upon me. We'll have to see about that.

Upcoming events include a possible date (rendezvous? tete-a-tete?) with my sister's coworker (assuming she hasn't ruined my chances already by telling him that I don't keep guys around long), another Povertyneck Hillbillies concert, and two of my friends in town this weekend for my birthday on Saturday! And friends in town means I gotta get my place straightened up by the time they get here Friday night!